Not Yet, Baby!

I was sitting in my recliner when suddenly I noticed the all-too-familiar odor of a skunk. Our 18-month-old goldendoodle, Sheba, was in the back yard. Even through the walls, the stench was so strong that it burned my throat!

We’d just moved to the country seven months previously, into the house that I built, with nine acres to roam. And roam, Sheba did! She absolutely loved being a “country dog”. This was her first encounter with a skunk, but hopefully a lesson learned. If she ever smells one again, she’ll keep her distance– we hope!

She was on the back porch, and wanting to come back in the house. I’d heard about using tomato juice and baking soda to remove the smell, but searched online to see if that was the best solution. (Did I even have any tomato juice?)

It was Christmas day. Nothing was open, except a few gas stations. Thank the LORD, my son Jeffery was home for a few days. He’s an over-the-road truck driver, and is only here a few times a year.

“Mom, you’re right about the skunk spray. Sheba looks all wet,” Jeffery observed. Ugh… Merry Christmas, ya’ll!

The sun was setting, and the temperatures outside dropping quickly. We absolutely could not let Sheba back in the house smelling like that!

Poor puppy! She kept jumping up and scratching on the patio door, wondering why I wouldn’t let her inside, as I always did. I talked to her through the glass, telling her that I loved her, and that I saw her, and that I was so sorry, but she’d have to wait.

My heart hurt for our beloved, soggy pet as she whined and begged to come back inside to the comforts she was accustomed to. She couldn’t understand why I was letting her suffer outside in the cold — why I was making her WAIT.

In that moment, I sensed the Holy Spirit of God speaking to me.

“My beloved daughter, I see you. I know you don’t understand why you have to wait. I know your heart aches over the things you’ve prayed to Me about. I have not abandoned you, my child! I love you, much more than you love this dog, or your own children. I AM at work — you just can’t see it yet! Trust Me while you’re waiting.”

Hot tears covered my cheeks as my Heavenly Father spoke so tenderly. I instantly recalled the song He’d inspired me to write for my last album. “Trust Me While You’re Waiting” was like a prophetic word from God when I first penned it and heard the music in my head at the same time. It has touched many lives, according to testimonies I continue to receive.

But this Christmas day of 2022, I needed to hear it again — to hear God’s voice, as I had to wait.

We’d enjoyed a wonderful Christmas celebration over the weekend. Four of my sons, my three daughters-in-love (yes- I call them that purposely!), my youngest daughter, and six of my beloved grandchildren had filled my home with laughter, love and joy.

Jeffery, Jaycie and I worshiped with other believers at our church Christmas morning. We have so much to be thankful for!

But, undoubtedly like most people with much to thank God for, there are always “weighty matters” that burden our hearts and permeate our prayers.

Throughout each day, and every night before I go to bed, I come before the mighty Throne of Grace with my praises and my petitions before God.

I intercede for people I love, friends who are hurting, and situations we’re dealing with on many fronts. I am continually overwhelmed with the life-changing reality that God wants us to come to Him with our needs – with our very lives!

I am overwhelmed with the life-changing reality that God WANTS us to come to Him with our needs & with our very lives! #inspiringhopeblog #AmazingGrace #BeckyWrightSongs #Prayer

— Becky Wright | Artists in Christian Testimony Intl (@Becky_Wright) January 10, 2023

But let’s face it: Waiting is difficult, especially when one is not very patient in certain matters (like me— guilty as charged!)

I have children and grandchildren with spiritual, financial, emotional, mental health and relationship needs. (Every parent knows that when your kids are hurting, you’re hurting for them.)

I have nieces and nephews (particularly of my sister who died when they were young, so I feel a responsibility to pray “extra” for them) with similar needs that break my heart. Sometimes I can help in tangible ways, other times, they’re nowhere around to receive the help.

My parents are in their seventies and facing severe health issues that keep me on my knees for them. God just answered a long-time prayer for us all, that they were able to buy the house next door to where I just moved! As a widow and single mom, especially, I am unspeakably grateful for the kindness of the Lord to work out this mutually beneficial arrangement!

As I watched my poor, stinky puppy through the patio door, temperatures dropping, how I wish she could have understood that I really wasn’t ignoring her. I really am concerned about what she’s going through, and that I really will come to “rescue” her soon. Just as soon as my son returned with several bottles of hydrogen peroxide and we could give her a bath!

But Sheba just didn’t understand. I heard and watched her cry like I’ve never witnessed before. It was hard — it was heart-wrenching! I imagine that God the Father must have felt this way when He allowed His own son, Jesus, to suffer and die on a cross. Unfathomable.

I have friends with children or other loved ones lying in a hospital bed in a life-threatening situation. All they can do is pray — and wait.

Besides my children and grandchildren and loved ones needs, I have my own dreams I’m waiting for — trusting that God knows how I feel as I wait. Believing that He hurts with and for me in my agony. And, that He is merciful and forgives my impatience and occasional grumbling. That’s what His Throne of Grace is for! Whew!

I’m definitely a Type-A personality. Bulldog tenacity, very hard-working, driven, hard to slow me down — especially when I want something!

I’m a visionary, in architecture, in songwriting & composing, in design on many fronts. I see what “needs” done, and I do whatever I can to make it happen.

But some things can’t be made to happen — or made to happen any sooner — by our own human efforts.

What are YOU still waiting for? What often steals your sleep and occupies your thoughts so you can’t concentrate on other things?

I’ve got a list. Maybe you do, too. (Leave me a comment if you’re willing to share!) Is it a dream job? Retirement? A spouse / marriage? A baby you’re praying to have? A financial breakthrough? A physical or mental healing? A miracle you need from God?

One very personal (but important and definitely life-changing) dream and desire that I have… is to marry again.

There —- I said it!

I lost my husband three years ago this month, as I write this in January 2023. With two children still at home at the time (my youngest only thirteen), I was definitely caught off guard to have my marriage ripped out from under me so suddenly. It is a heartache, like any great loss, that won’t be completely healed until we see Jesus.

Jesus was –and still is– my Rock — my sure foundation when all the world crumbles around me. Thankfully, that truth will never change for me! He continues to carry us, comfort us, provide for us (just me and my little girl now, now sixteen), and give us hope and dreams for the future.

In October 2021, as I had just began framing my new house, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. (I’ve only told my mother, my daughter, and my best friend this — until now.)

God spoke to my heart: “Your future husband is going to need his own office.”

Whaaaat!?? I stopped in my tracks as I walked through the stick-frame dwelling-in-progress. What I’d heard literally took my breath away.

I’ve learned to discern the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit over the years of walking with Christ.

From the very beginning, when God impressed me (several times — even two years before my husband died) to get out of the city, get out in the country, and get out of some debt, I’d been praying for discernment. I also prayed throughout the entire design process, once He showed me which land to buy — and I almost passed it over. (Another story for another time…)

Our back yard view on our nine acres, with a barn and a fish-filled pond! God’s blessings!

Hearing the Lord speak His not-so-subtle plans for my future left me breathless, exhilarated, questioning (I want to know all the details, of course!) and more than a bit anxious about it.

Who was this “future husband” to be? Where was he? Had I ever even met him yet? Did he know? Had God told him the same thing? So many questions! So many people in my life this would affect (my children and grandchildren, my parents, my church family, my ministry…) Ugh! Overwhelming!

My daughter Jaycie’s bedroom was going to be at the bottom of the stairway. My room was past the kitchen, on the other side of the house. Three bedrooms would be downstairs, and only a game room, TV room, closets and a toy area for the grandkids upstairs. There was a spacious attic space for ductwork and roof supports, too, besides attic space over the garage.

With this new “revelation”, I felt the Lord prompting me to finish the attic space in what would have just held ductwork — to be Jaycie’s bedroom. When I approached her with the idea, she was actually overjoyed, since the bathroom she preferred would be upstairs (with a custom shower and a window for sunlight). As we measured, it was actually bigger than her bedroom and closet would have been downstairs! Confirmation.

So, besides my recording studio just inside the front door (which was a big part of the need for moving to a new house), I also have an office in what would have been the guest bedroom. Jaycie’s original bedroom is now the guest bedroom.

Also, since the studio is for my work through my non-profit ministry, Artists in Christian Testimony, International, the “office” is used as my “rental business office” –Schedule C self-employment on my taxes. Therefore, the IRS is satisfied, because those spaces have to be kept separate. God knew. (And, there’s plenty of room for another desk if…. when… I remarry!)

As I continue to pray to discern the Lord’s will, I am reminded of God-fearing people who had to wait on the Lord’s promise to them — like Abraham and Sarah and Hannah (for a baby); Moses (for deliverance); Jacob and Rachel (to marry). I think of some who had a strong desire, but not necessarily a “word from God” about their future — like the widow, Ruth — who eventually remarried to Boaz — and they became the great-grandparents of King David, and in the lineage of Christ the Messiah!

God gave them “the desires of their hearts”, because they obeyed, delighted in and put their trust in God! That is my hope. That — God’s promises through His Word — is my assurance! Psalm 37:4 promises: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

What else am I waiting for? Many things will require an intense time and effort on my part. I’ve had five distinct books on my heart to write for many years. The first one has only seven chapters completed (of forty — it’s a devotional). I have lot of new music to write, both in gospel & worship music, but also in TV and film.

I’m more involved and busy than ever in foster care and adoption ministries here in my home state, and praying for more “hands” to serve with me. The needs are great! I’ve also had on my heart to create a video training for church choir members who do not read music. There’s such a need! Again– so many dreams and visions to help others, so little time, and (often) little or no funding to make it possible. So– I wait. I pray. I share the vision occasionally.

Our JMVA (Joint Ministry Venture Agreement) with the school and orphanage and churches in Chagallu, Andhra Pradesh India is more committed than ever, affecting thousands of lives — but there’s so much more to do! Always a need for more funding, ministry partners, and time.

Praying daily that the Lord will do HIS will in HIS time, in all things (even though I get impatient and want to figure it all out!). I know He will.

I’d LOVE to pray for you! Leave a comment below if you’d like prayer about something. I promise– I WILL pray! And God promises, He WILL hear! I can’t wait to see what He does!

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Becky Wright is a Staff Missionary of Artists in Christian Testimony, International, a Non-Profit 501(c )(3) ministry with home offices in Brentwood, TN. Your tax-deductible donations are appreciated and much-needed to continue this work around the world. Becky’s albums are available for purchase at http://www.beckywrightsongs.com . DONATE HERE, with our humble thanks!

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